Fuck you.
I fucking hate you. I’ve gotten to the point where I just don’t want anything to do with you. But at the same time I still want to tell you how I fucking feel. Because I feel so fucking stupid over you. Fuck this, I just need to get all my thoughts out so I can say deuces. And so you know where the fuck we are and how we’re not fucking going anywhere anymore, ever. I’d be the dumbest bitch to even give you a chance. So fuck it. I just want to get all this shit over with. So fuck it, I’m doing what I fucking have to do to get my peace of mind. Then I’m done. I don’t need this bullshit.
Liking you is like
liking a stupid boy who doesn’t get anything. A boy who doesn’t know what to do. A boy who doesn’t know how to try. A boy who absolutely has NO CLUE on how to make their girl truly happy. Liking you is like liking a boy who doesn’t really put effort in anything. Oh wait … you are that boy. I don’t want to like you anymore, I honestly don’t. But now that I’m here, I might actually have gained feelings for you during the past couple weeks. EFF THAT !
I’m stupid.
I’m so so so so so so so so soooooo stupid. :|
I want you to prove to me that you like me. I want you to show that you like me.
But I’m pretty sure that it’s a fact that once you do start showing how much you like me .. I’ll start getting turned off by it. I’ll start thinking you’re getting “too much”. Or even clingy.
Fuck my past experience with being clingy. I was always the “clingy” or “too much” one in the relationship. So it’s caused like a bad thought in my brain and now every time anyone even wants to think about getting close to me … I shut myself away from that person.
I guess I just have my wall up a lot higher than the Great Wall of China this time. We’ll just have to see if you’re willing enough to break down this wall of mine. For some reason, I doubt it /: or maybe I’m just doubting myself on whether or not I would even let you. Bleh
I think that whenever I feel like it, I’ll delete this tumblr. Just so I can kill these hidden thoughts forever. It’s kind of pointless.. but maybe I’ll show it to a few people I’ve written about. Maybe.
Okay, honest time.
I really can’t fucking tell if I do like you or not. If I actually like you for you. I tell you that I like you for your personality, and I do.. there are things about your personality I honestly do like. I like that you can be quiet, that you don’t always have to be talking or fill that silence with nonsense. But you can also have a pretty decent conversation with me, you talk back, you know what to say. I like that you’re not completely weirded out by me, because I feel like I actually can be myself around you. But that’s the thing.. I can be myself around you because I’m not nervous around you, because I’m not really all that into you. I mean not as I would be to someone I’m seriously attracted to. That’s not completely a bad thing you know… I don’t know. Well yeah, I can’t tell if it’s you that I like or the thought of having you. Having someone like you, who I’m sure that likes me more. Who I’m sure I don’t have to worry about. I’m scared you’ll be too easy, and I’ll get turned off by one little thing and everything goes wrong because of my stupidity. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to lead you on. I’m not that type of person anymore. But I just don’t know anything right now. You’re not completely like the previous guys who I knew I didn’t like at all. I actually do have more feelings for you than that. It’s just, if I actually don’t have these feelings for you.. I don’t want it to be a lot harder than it should be. Fuck, it sucks that I even have to have these thoughts in the first place. D:
I like you.
I’m pretty sure I like you. I have feelings for you. I feel safe and secure with you. And I’m happy when I’m with you, and I really do like hanging out with you. I might still have those left over feelings for that other guy.. but I can’t help but think about who’s here for me now. I like how I feel like we actually do have a connection. I might not get bored of you after all. I’m just scared to repeat what happened with my ex.. I don’t want to lead you on to thinking that my feelings for you are as strong as yours, when they might not be. That’s why I’m trying to take it slow with you. But I actually can tell that we do have something, potential. It’s like I can be comfortable around you. I can act myself. And I don’t even feel insecure when you touch my face, or get near my face. And I really like that. It’s really weird. I can imagine myself being close to you. But I won’t let that happen just yet. Not until you can prove to me that if I do let myself get that close to you, that you won’t hurt me. We’ll just have to see. I do like the feeling though (:
As much as I want you to be..
As much as I keep listening to the song and as much as I keep thinking of you in my mind, I don’t think that you are my only exception.
I hate when i get that feeling in my chest like something’s not right
(Source: 93044)
Fuck this feeling.
JUST FUCK IT ! Fuck it hard right up the ass. I hate this feeling so much. It’s horrible. I can’t tell what I’m feeling. I’m so confused. I can’t tell whether I really like you for you, or just the thought of you. The thought of having someone like you. Because if I did like you for you, that would have to mean that I actually believe that you really are like that. That you really are a nice guy, a sweet good nice guy. And for some reason I can’t get myself to believe that. It just seems like you’re too good to be true. Like there’s got to be something wrong with you. You tell me “you’re not like that”, that you wouldn’t hurt me. But what exactly did you mean by that? Did we mean the same thing, were we talking about the same meaning of not hurting me? I don’t even know. I don’t know anything. I can’t tell if you are as into me. Because I feel like I’m starting to get feelings for you so fast, and I don’t want to be left stupid thinking you’re getting these feelings too when you’re really not. I haven’t gotten this feeling in so long. I don’t even remember the last time I felt like this. But all I know is it’s a bad feeling in my gut that I will most likely get hurt again.. That’s why I keep telling myself that if this doesn’t work out with you, I don’t know anymore. I can’t take the heartache. I can feel it coming and it’s hurting already. ):<
